INVENT YOUR OWN COOL

INVENT YOUR OWN COOL

 

We are in the midst of a series of perfect storms of social media, news and movements. The younger generations are part of the movement, actively driving and partaking in the tolerance of fair, rights and justice; all being top of mind. I watched an interview with Naomi Campbell this week. She is stunning, brilliant, successful, and continues to grace the covers of the biggest fashion magazines and has walk the greatest designers in the world on the runway. So much so, her walk is what young models aspire to during their training. Naomi Campbell still faces discrimination. She was not paid the same as models who are not of color. Recently, she was denied access to a posh hotel in Paris, France. Yes. That’s what I heard Naomi Campbell say. She was denied access to a hotel in Paris because of the color of her skin.

 

Born of Rotter’s locus of control, there are two circles from where we make decisions and show up in life. The greater the circle of concern that people choose to be imprisoned by external influences, the more they become conformists, straying from free thinking. Here, decisions are made based on what they think people will think of them. Feelings are drawn by the emotional painting created by someone else. What threats are out there, fashion trends, family, what people think, news, celebrities. Reactionary decisions made such as what we wear, how we speak, how we write, how we live, how we respond – the balanced scorecard of how they judge others is based upon external influences and it is a choice. In many cases, people live in fear as to not be harshly judged by family and friends for going against the grain and taking a stance.

 

The circle of control, living in this space gives us the CEO seat to be the pioneer in our own lives. It is learned that proactive beliefs, thinking for ourselves and adopting an entrepreneurial spirt of our own lives is a governance that brings peace. This allows us to dare, to set the trend and defy ‘norm’. How we feel, how we behave and respond to life is our thermotic wand. Boundaries are set by our own choice. We stand up for what is right because it is what we inherently believe. We change the course of history by taking those facts, poking holes in them and puncturing through to a future of light. The game is not just changed or won; it is created in this space. Take control of our lives, build the brand of you that is strong and powerful. Create each day with the palate of your chosen colors, the ones that motive and inspire success for you. Confidence lies here and the simple fact is this - we decide.

 

Be the one who opens the door for Naomi Campbell. Visit that space in your own mind that gives you control, the power to do the right thing because how we make people feel is what they remember for the rest of their lives. Be unforgettable. Cool as fuck.

SHANE

SHANE

Friday night, October 12, 2018, I arrive in Boston and the first kid arrives at Tara's house. Young, tall, lanky, polite, humble, black friend of my son's. He extends his hand to me while I am sitting on the couch and introduces himself. "Hi. I am Benny. I know we never met Mr. Kirkpatrick but I heard so many good things about you. I need to tell you something about your son Shane." Without taking a breath, he continues, "My friends gave up on me. My siblings gave up on me. My parents gave up on me." He pauses, choked up and holding back tears, "but not Shane. He never gave up on me. That is the boy you raised."

In Shane's honor, who lost his life as a result of an accidental drug overdose, I dedicate this first blog entry to him. I started writing a larger piece tonight, inspired by all that is going on in the world. He left behind two beautiful little girls, Layla Rose and Aniyah Leigh who are biracial. I want to shield them from the world and wish they never had to grow up in the midst of what continues to happen. We say it is the year 2020 and cannot believe this is happening. We said that in 1965, 1978, and we can go back to the writing of the Emancipation Proclamation and yet, here we are. 

Shane was filled with love, he had friends from all walks of life. He would not want to be remembered in a harshly dim lit aura of an addict's stigma. He would want us to love his girls with all his might and protect them as much as we can without missing life's beautiful lessons.

I share with you the first part of a poem I wrote, inspired by the teachings of Maya Angelou. I have listened to so much from her these past few weeks, struck by 'Still I Rise' and so many other things she has written and orated, leaving a legacy.

As the silver bird soars high though the sunlit clouds

His memory shines bright, his arms as feathered wings

Reflecting on the stories told by his friends aloud

The absence of his smile, his scent, his swagger; stings